Jan 19, 2019

Is it a glass half empty or a glass half full?

There are a lot of ways we can look at the world around us. We can look at it with bitterness or we can look at it with wonder.

Honestly for me, I vacillate between the two sometime succumbing to the lure of fake nostalgia and then other times being in the moment and taking advantage of that place. The hardest thing in life is to be in the moment because when you are in the moment you are taking a hefty helping of what life has to offer us.

This does however mean taking the good along with the bad though and when you are in the midst of the bad you may be better served by placing yourself in the future.

I'm scrambling at the moment to arrive at a thought because I started writing without knowing where I might end up.

Life has been okay of late although I am admittedly tired.

I don't like winter. I don’t know if I ever really liked it all that much but I can definitely say I am not a fan of the cold weather and the shorter days. These days as I get older, I find I’m tired much more than I want to be. Just getting through the day can be trying at times and the parts of it that you want to pass quickly don’t and the parts that you want to pass slowly just whiz by.

Every day now, I’ve been trying to make a habit of getting through my latest book and it seems like this year has been really very good on the reading front. I’m now in the third book of the Song of Fire and Ice and enjoying it a good deal.

My life had fallen into a routine although it is a bit of a struggle lately. It’s just hard to get myself going in the morning and I can’t say I’m really excited about work although I am thankful to have a job. It’s not as if anything has been overly bad at work lately either just more a matter of wanting to have something of a change and not seeing anything presenting itself on the horizon in those terms.

I know the job I have now is a bit of a dead end and that can be a little discouraging.

Also, I’m not inspired anymore. I don’t have that urge to go out and push myself the way I might have done once or maybe it would be better stated that my interests have changed.

My opposite number on the account I’ve been working on is a peacock in every sense of the word. It can be insufferable but I have to remind myself that whatever I’m feeling isn’t necessarily in the ‘good bag’ of emotional health.

I hold my tongue a lot only because I don’t think it’s worth it to fight but you see someone showing off and you don’t think the work is actually as good as they might think it is.

Some of the stuff my ON does is truly great and I like it quite a bit but other stuff? Big misses.

Anyway, the lead Account person returned for a day or two this past week after being out for a prolonged period and a couple of things happened that made me realize I simply don’t want to work with this person at all anymore.

I got called into a closed door meeting with my boss. Now, I like my boss, a lot. So, when I have a closed door meeting these days, it’s not as if I don’t think I can speak my mind. But, the topic of discussion was so ridiculous I just turned to him and plainly asked to be put onto another account. I’m fed up really, I’ve been working on the same account for almost two years and I’m one of only two people who have been working on it from the very beginning that is still on it and I’m tired of the bullshit.

I’ve got a thankless job, really.

The peacock (which is a good nickname I think I’m going to be keeping for my ON) is a big believer in planting your nose up the ass of anyone above you in the food chain. I mean like so deeply buried between the person’s ass cheeks that when he deals with anyone else not over him he is dismissive, curt, antagonistic and rude. So much so, no one wants to work with him.

He’s worked on a bunch of other accounts and he doesn’t usually get asked to do much more after that initial time. He’s that much of a pain in the ass.

Now, if anyone over him asks him for anything he can’t bend over and grab his ankles fast enough.

The closed door thing was about me getting blamed for picking up one of his projects being asked to do something small and taking the hit for his gaffe in not setting it up correctly and the junior not communicating things clearly. I take the hit but I’m actually more than a little tired for taking the hit on things I haven’t really been involved in.

It’s happened a bunch of times now and I made it clear to my boss when it happened what happened so he knows about it.

That’s why the closed door thing wasn’t as much of a problem as the person in question thought it would wind up being.

Besides, if you’ve got a problem? It appears there are lots of other people in the company who don’t have a problem with me or my work and who are more than happy to have me working with them on their projects. I guess the reason I got so pissed about things is because this person fucked me on my review and it was right after I handled a huge project that went off perfectly. So perfectly that the client has cited it repeatedly as one of the company’s successes.

The peacock and I had a brief chat the next day and I told him I wanted off. I don’t think he was all that happy about it either.

It’s hard to shift blame when it’s only you.

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